In life there are many barriers to wealth that we must learn to overcome. Self doubt and learning to deny ourselves unnecessary expenses are some of the issues many of us must defeat in order to allow wealth to accumulate. However, one common idea that connects many of these issues is the phrase, “I can’t.”
How does your imagination create a wonderful idea only to have self-doubt set in. Perhaps it starts off as, “I can’t do it because there isn’t enough money.” Other times it could be, “I can’t do it because who would buy that?”
That one little phrase, “I can’t” can become a massive barrier for many people. Sometimes it may seem too large to overcome. But it doesn’t have to be. There are ways to crush the barrier to wealth that is, “I can’t.”
Self-Doubt
Many times we encounter a barrier to wealth before we even leave the starting gate. Self doubt can be a very powerful way to stop a person from pursing their goals and dreams. For myself, this is probably the hardest barrier for me to overcome.
Roughly one year ago the concept of The Frugal Path formed in my imagination. We had just encountered a major hurdle to paying off our debt, paying for a new roof. I thought that writing a blog would be a great way to help keep us on track with our financial goals. At this time self doubt began to creep into the back of my mind. I would think, “I can’t do this. Who would want to read what I have to say? Would I be ridiculed for my thoughts?” The phrase, “I can’t” continued to plague me for almost a year.
You might wonder what quieted the voice of self doubt. Roughly three months before actually beginning the site I began to watch a series of YouTube videos by a mystery gamer known simply as Etho. Somewhere throughout the series he began to explain the reasons why he started to record on YouTube. At first he had similar doubts of having his voice broadcasted that I did for my blog. After listening to him talk I realized that if he could do a YouTube series, then I could write a blog. The self doubt of I can’t became replaced with I can. Less than a month later The Frugal Path was created.
Replace “I Can’t” with “How Can I”
Without trying to sound like a self-help site, I find that replacing the phrase can’t with can is a great way of getting through the barrier of self doubt.
Think about times when you’ve encountered yourself saying, “I can’t do this.” Did it stop you from achieving your goals before you even started?
There are a few common cases where “I can’t” becomes a barrier to wealth.
- Joan says, “I can’t save money because I’m living paycheck to paycheck.”
- Jim says, “I can’t start a business because I don’t have the money.”
- Erin says, “I can’t pay off my debt because it’s too much.”
In each of these cases the person may have stopped themselves before thinking any further. Perhaps the believe their situation was a lost cause without any chance of success. However, by changing one simple word, your whole thought process can change.
- If Joan were to say, “I can save money, I just need to figure a way to stop living paycheck to paycheck.” Perhaps she could motivate herself to move forward.
- If Jim were to say, “I can start a business. I may not have much money but maybe I’ll start small or find an investor.”
- If Erin were to say, “I can pay off my debt. I got into it a little at a time, I can get out of it a little at a time.”
By simply changing the phrase to I can your entire mindset can change. Instead of being paralyzed by self doubt, your mindset can change and you can begin to search for ways overcome your barriers to wealth creation.
Learning to Deny Yourself
We live in a society where we are conditioned to believe that it is bad to deny yourself what you want. How many commercials say, “Do you need another television? You’ve already got three.” How about, “Is that new $50,000 car costing you financial freedom?” I haven’t seen one. Have you?
I’ll admit that it can be very difficult to deny yourself something you want even if the rewards are worth it. I know that if I were to get rid of cable then I could save $1,000 per year. I also know that $1,000 could pay off a decent chunk of our credit card debt. After thinking about it though, I run into that phrase again.
I start to think, “I can’t get rid of my cable. How will I watch Gold Rush?” After a while I talk myself out of getting rid of the cable because “I can’t live without it.” The truth is I know that living without cable isn’t the end of the world. I lived without it for two years when I moved out on my own. I survived without my shows and I ended up reading a whole lot more.
I know that by denying myself cable I can save money and my life won’t be negatively affected. (We’re considering canceling our cable in the new year and upgrading our internet to allow Netflix to stream faster.) I find that it becomes easier to deny yourself something if you focus on what you gain by denying yourself.
It’s All About Mindset
Turning I can’t into I can is all about mindset. If you think of something as a negative, then you’re finished before you’ve given yourself a chance. But if you flip it into how you can achieve your goals, you’ve pushed yourself one step closer to gaining what you want and possibly breaking a barrier to wealth.
Have you ever had to overcome a barrier to wealth? What did you do? How did you turn an “I can’t” situation into “I can“?
Photo Provided By: TheDarkThing
This is all true…especially when it comes to money. People feel overwhelmed by their situation and decide that they don’t even want to try.
Holly@ClubThrifty recently posted..Confessions of a Cheap-Ass Santa
Yes. The overwhelming feeling of despair can stop you from achieving your goals before you even start. Simply by changing your attitude can get you started towards your goals.
Good post Justin! I think it’s easy for us to fall into the trap of “not” being able to do something. Largely, I don’t believe that to be true. So what if you can’t save $1,000 per month…but I bet you can save $10. It requires discipline which is not always fun. If you can only save a small amount, that’s ok but start somewhere. I think a lot of it comes down to priorities and what you value. Do you value saving money and getting ahead or having the latest & greatest without ever thinking of tomorrow.
John S @ Frugal Rules recently posted..Saving Money with Comparison Shopping
Breaking a large task into several smaller ones is another way to go about it. Saving for retirement doesn’t happen over night. It’s a few dollars here and there everyday that can add up to a comfortable nest egg.
Oh, the dreaded “I can’t”. I used to use that language and then I switched my thinking. It is hard to do, but it works the same way as “I want” versus “I need”. Great post Justin.
Grayson @ Debt Roundup recently posted..How Old Will You Be When You Finish Paying Off Your Student Loans?
Good correlation Grayson. I want versus I need can be used the same way. Wants are another barrier that can have a negative impact on our chances for wealth.
Great points Justin! What I really love to do is deal with reality vs. just getting upset about reality. Once you know what situation you are in, it’s time to start working towards making the situation better. We are much more capable than we give ourselves credit for.
DC @ Young Adult Money recently posted..Online Strategies for Holiday Shopping Bargains
DC I agree that we can usually do more than what we think. Getting over that first barrier can be hard, but once you’re over it you can feel great. It’s like riding a roller coaster for the first time. There’s the build up of fear and then once you take the plunge it’s exhilarating.
Great post Justin! I agree (from experience) that self doubt can be a huge bummer on your financial outlook. I had a friend who was perfectly capable of becoming well off in life just because of his smarts. Instead, every time I raised a suggestion on what he could do, he counter-attacked it with self doubt. “Oh, um, well, what if … I can’t, I can’t do that, um, that’s too difficult, I’m not capable of that, nobody will care… well, oh hmmm, I shouldn’t do that.” Needless to say, he hasn’t gotten very far on that front.
Veronica @ Pelican on Money recently posted..Powerful Lessons Learned in Starting an Online Store (Part 2)
Self doubt can be a stumbling block. It’s probably one of my biggest challenges that I need to work on overcoming.
Great post. Typically, I tell myself “I currently struggle with” rather than “I can’t.” Life is a series of struggles, all of which can be overcome. Being honest with what in life you struggle with, things like self-confidence, finances, is the key to me.
Kyle James | Rather-Be-Shopping.com recently posted..Frugal Hack #2: Christmas Shopping with the Kids
Knowing your strengths and weaknesses can allow you to honestly figure a way to overcome your struggles.
I used to think I could never find a job that fit my degrees somewhere sunny and nice. I thought expats had to start a 10 years career first, or work at the UN or IMF. Turns out Guatemala needs executives just like any place and by not giving up and sending CVs I got a nice job for a law firm for a few years. Otherwise I’m not one for complaining much and don’t fear failure so I try and if it really can’t be done, it won’t be for the lack of trying.
Pauline recently posted..Little house in Guatemala, week 7
Pauline from what I’ve read on your site I don’t think there is much that could keep you from doing what you want.
Absolutely fantastic post!! Nice one dude. I am with you – it all about mindset and attitude
Agreed, this is a great post. Life’s too short to be afraid of everything, or to never try something that seems too hard. It’s kinda funny but PF blogs, to me, are often just like self help blogs. You are essentially trying to help yourself as well as the ones around you. We may talk about numbers and facts etc. pretty often, but it has to start with an idea or a realization that something needs to change. I think there is a lot of overlap there. I have to admit I get a lot of inspiration from blogs like those.
Ian recently posted..Help Your Waist Line and Your Bottom Line…
So true. My “I can’t” was quitting my gym. I had the hardest time doing that, imagining that I would be some 300 pound woman sitting at my desk blogging. The truth is those changes sting a little at first, then you easily adjust and wonder why it took you so long.
Budget and the Beach recently posted..10 Ways to Keep Your Holiday Season Simple
We deal with that all the time at work. Patients always are telling me why they can’t do something, or they are upset that we can’t fix their glasses after they ran over them with a car. They get really mad when their eyesight fails and they aren’t able to do the things they used to do. We make a point to always tell them what we can do rather than what we can’t or I stress what they are able to do rather than what they’ve lost. How you phrase things goes a really long way.
Kim@Eyesonthedollar recently posted..Hosting a Frugal, Rocking Holiday Party
This is very true. I find people often make blanket statements of how they “can’t” do things like save or do math or whatever. I think it’s better to say to yourself, “I’m not very good at doing X, so how can I improve?”
I used to think that I couldn’t do math and calculus for example. The I went into comp sci and I had to drastically improve my advanced math skills. That was when I forced myself to practice practice practice, watch YouTube videos and study my ass off. It’s all about how you approach it.
CF recently posted..Recipe Idea: Mulled Apple Cider
It’s amazing what a little practice can do. When I was in 8th grade I couldn’t learn foil for the life of me. My mom spent 3 hours teaching it to me and in the end I never forgot how it worked.